Before we proceed to announce the nominees, winners and recipients in their respective disciplines, I would like to point out some observations at backstage. I would like to be at backstage, all night. It is where all the action is--the same sex hugging and kissings, the pipe burning, the eatery and collection of the finest wines money can buy. I talked Mustapha Kount into behaving and he told me the stuff in his system was too much for him to handle. Who knows how much he had to smoke? Then came the funny and goofy-looking alcohol breath Sam, who had problems standing still. Behind the counter at backstage was Uche_62 who had a face lift and liposuction to reduce the excess meat at her backyard sitting next to M. Ganiyu Adegboye. Apparently they were discussing marriage.

Oh, before I forget, did you hear Big Steve's troubled marriage has turned him into a heavy-drinking chronic gambler? Seriously, he spends most of his time hanging around the pubs and whore houses. More blows to Big Steve--he lost his job as informant to Nigeriaworld.

Breaking News: I have just been informed that Bababoyz was arrested for driving under the influence on his way to the awards. We will miss him and his pot-belly "amala-ewedu" soup eating coward (laughters from the audience). Surprise! Surprise! Guess what? Last year's Best Mysoginist winner Ebe and Big Steve is in the house. Is big Steve spying for Obasanjo or what, now that he lost his job at Nigeriaworld?

Why is Chuck spending his nights at Dianne's?

The best is yet to come. Here comes Dr. Damages and Le Figaro holding hands. Hmm... Hollywood style? Who said gay marriages wont work in Nigeria (Laughs). And via satellite from London, another Igbo-hater Toks Ok., drunk and perturbed Igbos are rising and shinning, wished them all dead. Poor boy.

Well, ladies and Gentlemen, before my fat ass is declared MIA (missing in action), the award will continue after the following commercials.

Commercial Break: While the commercials were running, the first gay couples were kissing and hugging. Mustapha Kount was whisked away for indescent exposure, obviously depressed that Figaro dropped his fag ass for Dr. Damages (laughs).

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back and sit tight as we are in for a long and entertaining evening.

The Awards:
Best Topic in a Drama: The Nominees
The Mortican--Nkem Eugene Ejiofor; The Insatiable Husband--Ifeanyi C. Obigbo; Ugali Shaga--Men and Women; Chiboy--Should He have Confessed?; Chiboy--Why the Preference for home Women?
The Winner: Chiboy

Best Political Discourse: The Nominees
Tunde Onabanjo--Biafra and BiafraNigeria: A Lesson in unjust Peace; Amanda Wekson--What Would you do at Actualization of Biafra?; Biafra--The Atlanta Conference is a Dead Horse; Ambrose--Should OAU be Abolished?
The Winner: Tunde Onabanjo in a masterpiece.

Best Socio-cultural Topic: The Nominees
Amanda Wekson--Osu Cast System, Ambrose--Our Chilren in the Diaspora: What Do they Know?, Ifeanyi C. Obigbo--The Insatiable Husband.
The Winner: Amanda Wekson on Osu Caste System.

Best Censored Message Board: The Nominees
Nigeriaworld; Gamji; NGEX; Naijamall; Nigerianews; and Nigeriawatch.
The Winner: Nigeriaworld (Has censored and banned 99-percent of its members).

Best Owned Despotic Message Board: The Nominees
Gamji (absolutely no advertisements or commercials); Nigeriaworld (gruesome, draconian and insane); NGEX (too ambiguous and goofy; too many crack heads and air heads with Babawilly the leader of the area boys; Naijamall (too many gay clubs--no wonder Damages and Figaro are regulars); Hausanet (spending our oil money to use it against the original owners).
The Winner: Nigeriaworld.

Best Legal Analyst: The Nominees
Tunde Onabanjo, Adaeze, Wacko, Amanda Wekson, Damian, Ezeka Onu, Waypoint1Biafra, Seun and Yara Wasa Bature.
The Winner: Tunde Onabanjo.

Best Sports Analyst: The Nominees
Quansah, Biafra, Ednut, Amanda Wekson and Paul Ibekwe.
The Winner: Kofi Quansah on his analysis in boxing history.

Best Counsel: The Nominees
Nkem Eugene Ejiofor, Anu Nti, Ukaoha, Patrick, Sam, Ayodele, Osetutu, Onyemaecho, Emela, COLO, Tunde Onabanjo and Joe Onwuatuegwu.
The Winner: Nkem E. Ejiofor on his unlimited counsels to effect change in the Biafra nation.

Best Case of Espionage: The Nominees
Big Steve, Bababoyz, Ndigbo, Hels, El Goodage, Dr. Damages the faggart, Kunle the illegitimate son of Obasanjo, Osita Chuba the father of all "Ibos," Ednut the stepson of Jim Nwobodo, Mustapha Kount the leader in the land of the blind and Sam the skid row.
The Winner: Big Steve on his continuous drive to betray his own brothers.

Best Ethnocentrist: The Nominees
Ebe, Bababoyz, Amanda Wekson, Muda Kaduna, Amucha 1, Onyemaechi, Ohafia Udumeze, Ezeka Onu, Paul Ibekwe, Chudi Sokie, O/Tunde, Mobolaji Aluko and Ayodele.
The Winner:
Ebe--wins back to back from last year's award held at Nigeriaworld.

Best Sexist (Woman-hater) The Nominees
Ebe, Ednut, Mustapha Kount, Dr. Damages, Yara Wasa Bature, Emi Koussi and Ugali Shaga.
The Winner: Ednut for his attack on Gloria Alozie and continued attack on Amanda Wekson.

Best Newcomers: The Nominees
Chudi Sokie, Mustapha Kount, Yara Wasa Bature, Osetutu, Waypoint1Biafra, Ohafia Udumeze, Quansah, Paul Ibekwe, Gtorino, Ben, Patrick, Osita Chuba, Amucha 1 and Ifeanyi C. Obigbo.
The Winners: Ohafia Udumeze, Waypoint1Biafra, Osetutu and Patrick.

Best Thread Starter: The Nominees
Paul Ibekwe, Ifeanyi C. Obigbo, Biafra, Ohafia Udumeze, Amanda Wekson, Chima Njoku, Tunde Onabanjo, Ednut, Yara Wasa Bature, Ambrose and Quansah.
The Winner: Paul Ibekwe (Started more threads).

Best Intellectual: The Nominees
Mustapha Kount, Tunde Onabanjo, Wacko, Anthony Obaseki, Ebe, Amanda Wekson, Seun, Chudi Sokie, Chidi orhegbe, Ezeka Onu, Damian, Dikeanatuegwu, Gtorino, COLO, CSE, O/Tunde, Patrick, Zaiyol Karl, and Anu Nti.
The Winner: Tunde Onabanjo, still, his masterpiece regarding the Biafran cause.

Best Schorlarly Work: The Nominees
Tunde Onabanjo, Amanda Wekson, COLO, Anthony Obaseki, Ambrose, Paul Ibekwe, Biafra, Wind Wacko, Ohafia Udumeze, Chiboy, Chima Njoku, Waypoint1Biafra, Biafrachild, Sam, Osita Chuba, Anichebe, Dr. Damages and Nkem E. Ejiofor.
The Winner: Wind on his presentation of the Ahiara Declaration.

Best Work in Investigative Journalism: The Nominees
Dr. Damages, Wind, Wacko, Ike, Armanda Wekson and Biafra.
The Winner: Ike--the superb investigative work regarding Hel's father involvement in 419.

Best Informant: The Nominees
Big Steve, Bababoyz, Ndigbo and his half brother Hels, Dr. Damages, Mustapha Kount, Ranka Dede, Sam, COLO, AdoJohnSule, M. Ganmiyu Adegboye, Muda Kaduna, O/Tunde, Emi Koussi and Balogun Adeniyi.
The Winners: Big Steve and Hels. Meanwhile, Hels was not there to accept his award. He is being held without bail for robbing Cyberworld Merchant Bank. Hmm..Like father like son.

Best Appearances: The Nominees
Amanda Wekson, Biafra Paul Ibekwe, Yara Wasa Bature, Ednut, Bababoyz, Ohafia Udumeze, Wacko, Chiboy, Ukaoha, and Ambrose.
The Winner: Amanda Wekson--Has posted more replies.

Best Writer: The Nominees
Tunde Onabanjo, Dr. Damages, Seun, Patrick, Amanda Wekson, Wacko, Ohafia Udumeze, Wind, Osita Chuba, Ibibonm, Enobong Umoren, COLO, Nwa Aro, Chima Njoku, Mustapha Kount, and Malcolm X.
The Winner: Tunde Onabanjo in "Biafra and BiafraNigeria: A Lesson in Unjust Peace."

Lady Biafra: The Nominees
Amanda Wekson, Joy, Adaeze, Funmi Onodipe and Uche_62.
The Winner: Amanda Wekson for her consistency and articulations toward realizing the Biafran dream.

Best Mischievous Writers: The Nominees
Sam, Zaiyol Karl, Yara Wasa Bature, Bamidele, Dikeanatuegwu, Joe Onwuatuegwu, Dr. Damages, O/Tunde, and Bababoyz.
The Winner:Zaiyol Karl and O/Tunde.

Best Spoilers of Democracy: The Nominees
Mustapha Kount, Bababoyz, Yara Wasa Bature, Ugali Shaga, Sam, Ednut, Dr. Damages, Ayodele, Emi Koussi, Balogun Adeniyi, Osita Chuba and Quansah.
The Winner: Mustapha Kount (Do not want the liberation of Biafra so he can continue to milk her dry).

Peacemaker of the Year Award: The Nominees
Nkem E. Ejiofor, COLO, Gtorino, Adaeze, Osetutu, Ohafia Udumeze.
The Winner: Nkem E. Ejiofor for his project in effecting change toward the Biafran nation and mankind in general. He takes over from COLO.

Friends of Biafra Award: The Nominees
Tunde Onabanjo, Seun, Balogun Adeniyi, Fumi Onodipe, Muda Kaduna, Yara Wasa Bature, Kunle and Bamidele.
The Winner: Tunde Onabanjo.

Man of the Year Award: The Nominees
Biafra, MASSOB, Ohafia Udumeze, and Waypoint1Biafra.
The Winners: Biafra and MASSOB for their inspirations in the actualization of a Biafran Republic.

Lifetime Achievement Award:
Unanimously, Biafra receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for his motivation and courage to keep the faith--Biafra Republic.

Congratulations to all recipients, winners and nominees as we hope to see you again at next year's awards.

Also, best wishes to all the air heads and faggarts. Finally, I would like to use this opportunity to wish Degema born Joe the son of Onyeocha, a quick recovery on his knee surgery. We know when he starts walking, he would stop by at Biafranigeriaworld where he belongs.

Peace to you all! 'Am out!

-----------------
Thompson Buraimoh

[ May 21, 2001: Message edited by: Thompson Buraimoh ]

What can I say! I feel flattered to have three awards doled out to me. If you really think that I deserve the award for the best appearance, Lady Biafra, and socio-cultural topics, I appreciate it. Thanks.

That was a low blow. You know I love all my sisters on this board. I have no idea why TB even had me in that category but what can a guy do?

I intend to join in an unholy alliance with Biafra to challenge the authencity of these awards because like him, I perceived there are many uncounted pregnant, hanging and what have you ballots. Also, l do not like how Amanda used me to win three awards, or was there any Nigerian/Biafaran style behind closed door action that won her the awards.

My Attorney will be contacting TB and his Jebb Bush trained board members very soon.

Meanwhile, congratulations to all the winners for their infamous awards.

TB; thank you for bringing a little fun to the mountain fire.

On behalf of Biafraworld, I accept this award and would like to thank my mother and father, my sisters, my brothers, my people in Biafra, and all the good fellas out there who support Biafraworld and the actualization of the sovereign Biafra Republic.

How could MASSOB have kidnapped you? MASSOB and Bakassi Boys would not take you for anything. Regardless, I think you should have won the Friend os Biafra Award.

All:
I congratulate all winners, even though I was marginalized, I won nothing. How could I win anything when the academy put my name with all the heavyweights of the forum, e.g. sister Amanda - Lady Biafra herself. My brother, COLO, who won the best peacemaker award last year got nothing this time. You gave his award to bro. Nkem E. Ejiofor. Hmmmm. Nepotism? anti-Biafranism, badism. Who are the members of this academy awards board of trustees anyway? Let's write a petition against them. I join my brother, biafra, in demanding a recount. What happened to all the hanging chads, dimpled chads, and pregnant chads. I invented the Internet, and this is how you reward me?

I will sue BiafraNigeriaWorld. I have a lawyer. I really do. I will sue everybody. I will sue you, you, you, …. The name of my lawyer is Abmabm. Haba! Trust me. I really have a lawyer. You should be afraid of me. Remove my name from the nomination. I will go to court. I will send e-mail to everybody about you, you, you, you, …. I will send private message to Nwa Aro and COLO and Onyeocha and Ndigbo and Azubuike and ….. I really mean it. I am going to court. I have a lawyer. I am warning you. If you don’t listen to me, I will write a letter to Obasanjo about the River Niger and saltwater intrusion. What the hell am I talking about? Shame on me!!! I am honored just to be nominated. Am I really? Should I be? I am crazy. I am out of here.

A short while ago Biafra and Umoren rang TB to say they have withdrawn their concession. I respectfully ask them to reconsider their decision. The votes has been counted, and it is time to make the votes count.

Eddie (nutty)?

Aww! I guess your feathers felt a little ruffled.
Anyway, just remember to be women-friendly while indulging in your favorite past time...chauvinism.