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Yvette walks in to the stage wearing a blue Tommy Hillfiger jeans she got from a thrift shop, a white blouse she got from a yard sale and a black six-inches high heeled shoes she got from the flea market.
T.B.: What's up, girl? "You be jamming" and welcome to The Tompson Buraimoh Show.
Yvette: Not a whole lot and thank you for having me in your show, sucker.
T.B.: Your character and that of others have turned Biafranigeriaworld Message Board into a must see discussion forum. Also the rumor mills have begun to say you are now dating a member of Biafranigeriaworld. Is that true or just heresy?
Yvette: You see what I mean! You guys aint good! Y'all are good at assassinating people's character. Look at what you guys did to Amanda Wekson after some of you saw her underwear to a point the scandal became pervasive and disturbing I began to panick. Now I know the next line of attack will be toward me for the fifty-plus Nigerian fools I dated in the past. Who cares anyway. Bring it on.
T.B.: A woman that slept with fifty-plus men including three cousins must be something else. Doesn't that bother you?
Yvette: Bother me for what! I have said it time without number that you sleazy Nigerians aint got it going on. All you guys want is sex. Like I said in the past, "I wanna have fun."
T.B.: The question every member of Biafranigeriaworld is asking me to ask you is, since you had sex with over fifty Nigerian men and still counting, how come all of a sudden you hate their guts?
Yvette: You are damn right. Especially, when you break it down to men like Waypoint1Biafra, Osetutu and Ednut. They are sexists to the bone. No wonder Waypoint1Biafra called you a "glorified stooge." Whoever is pushing you must be taking you for a very long ride, baby.
T.B: Who are the men you admire in Biafranigeriaworld?
Yvette: Many. Among them: The bookish Jude Olisa, the eloquent Tunde Onabanjo, Ohafia "Fathead" Udumeze, Gentleman Teddy, Ijeomaannuntu, Ukaoha, Major Benbella, Ayodele, Idowu, Bamidele, the free spending Bababoyz, Egwuatu Ozoemena, Kunle and Big K, Ade Olajide, the Orange County-California businessman Wale and Atlanta internist COLO. I like the moderates, too, like Nkem E. Ejiofor, Ambrose, Emeka, Patrick, Chike, Ifeanyi Chekwukere Obigbo, CSE, Seun and Chudi Sokie. I just can't stand the hardliners like Damian, Ojoto, rudek30may, Olugbuo Nwoke, Biafra, Kabaka, Wind, Nwokeoma, Nwa Aro, Amucha 1 and Chiboy. Their line of politics is very scary.
T.B.: What is yout political affiliation?
Yvette: I hate politics. It sucks. Don't even mention it. Y'all should have a life and leave politics alone.
T.B.: Let's talk about nightlife and clubbing. When are going to stop partying like an animal?
Yvette: Never! Now that I am getting older and wiser, I patronize the "oldies but goodies" hangouts. In my "glory" days when Nigerian men took me on a wild goose chase, I checked out many clubs across the country. I still remember my trip to Atlanta and had visited the Trinity Club, where most Nigerian 419ers met on Saturdays to flirt with women, I ran into a member of this fora who still wants me. In Dallas, I was at Club Clearview in the company of one Humphrey and his friends. "The place be jamming" on Saturday nights. Check it out whenever you visit the Dallas area.
T.B.: You sound very much like a party animal. What kind of music do you listen to? Are you into gangsta rap like Ednut?
Yvette: Hell no! I'm into the old school stuff, baby, especially Michael Jackson, before he became a white man. Whoo boy! I love that boy. That freak can surely sing. You see, during the days of MJ and popular culture, popular and funk music did not look like a kids play; the ones we see these days, cursing and bitching on MTV.
T.B.: That reminds me. MJ's Off the Wall was released in 1979. So, which of MJ's cut is your favorite?
Yvette: "Destiny!"
T.B.: "Destiny" was a cut from the album collectively recorded by the Jacksons in 1978. I am asking you about MJ's very own solo cuts. Which one?
Yvette "Destiny," I will tell you why. You see, MJ's solo career was a second act. His road to stardom and a record biggest selling album in history began with the Jacksons, when Tito, Marlon, Jackie, Jermaine and Michael formed what was then Jackson 5. They made hits upon hits until their last album in 1978 which included the powerful, emotional track, "Destiny" to what Richard Pryor would call "Hitsville" in Motown's Twenty-fifth anniversary.
T.B.: Well, I am not sure if you are aware MJ does not hold the biggest selling album in history record. He once did, though. The Eagles broke his record. How about a karaoke of "Destiny?" (Yvette lights up a joint.)
Yvette: OK., but I have a weird voice:
"In this world there's much confusion And I have tasted the city life But it is not for me And I do dream of distant places Where I do not know but it's DESTINY If it's the rich life, I don't want it Happiness aint always material things I want DESTINY, DESTINY, DESTINY It's the place for me, yeah, yeah, yeah Give me a simple life I'm gonna get away from here Let me be me, c'mmon let me feel free..."
T.B.: Go on girl, "you be jamming." That was awesome. But I was perturbed when you insinuated in your piece "George: A Life" that "George's life took a turn for the better. He had run into the Nigerian criminal mafia at a street bar where he was persuaded to ditch work and do the right thing." What Nigeria criminal mafia?
Yvette: Don't get me started now. You know what I mean.
T.B.: Whom are you looking forward to date?
Yvette: Africawest and nobiorah. They are the ones with Biafranigeriaworld stolen loots. They are the lootocrats (laughter as Yvette lights up another joint).
T.B.:[b] Yvette, I enjoyed your stay. Come back again and see us, and, stay away from Waypoint1Biafra. Once again, thank you!
[b]Yvette: You are welcome! And, you too, stay away from Amanda Wekson. (The audience applauds.)
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See me see Trouble which TB and Yvette is puting my name in their squable. Lewe kwanu nga madu na ano na ulo ano pia nkporo amu ya. Yvette please don't include ours truely among your Nigeria conquest.
Sometimes it is just hard to understand your type of Igbo language. Can you please write central Igbo (Enugu Igbo) next time or write in English? Thank you broda man.
___________________ Feel me? Ofu onye ana asi unu abia go. - Ednut Igbo-American . www.airamericaradio.com visit her. Posts: 2447 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ednutunde You just proved to everybody in this forum that you are not Igbo. If you can read that simple thing Brother Biafra wrote, we don't any more reason beyond that, that you are yoruba. odi kwa egwu.
___________________ Biafra: save my bullets when I die, Oh Biafra, Allelua if I surrender and that will be forever. Posts: 272 | From: Birmingham AL | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ednut Ewu awusa ndigbo si onye aturu ilulu kowa kwara ya ha, ego ejiri luo nneya furu okporo. Like brother joe said everytime you open your mouth you continue to prove that you are not Igbo. A true Igbo man will always understand all Igbo dialects no matter whether is his or not. Ednut I challenge you to write a complete sentences in central Igbo if you think you are a true Igbo son.
I was a good Igbo student in High school, I can beat in you Igbo language. Just name the place and time. I read F.C Ogbalu's complete Igbo grammer for O'level, I read Chi ewere ehihe jie, I read Omenako, I read Isi akwu dara na ala. what Igbo text book did you read in High school.
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