I believed him, gave him unconditional love from the bottom of my heart, and fell deeply in love. In fact, he stole my heart. Call it fatal attraction.

But one stormy Sunday morning, as I was getting ready to take a bath for church service, the phone rang, and when I answered, the caller was one Lola Oriyomi who said she was a cousin of Afolabi, that, she called to relay a message from his (Afolabi) mother in Nigeria. Sensing something was fishy from her initial pause before she spoke, I said to her "Afolabi is not here right now, may I take the message?" She said, "Tell Afolabi that her cousin Lola Oriyomi called."

When Afolabi came back to tell me as usual and with the deceptive sugar-coated mouth that he loves me, normally with a kiss, I turned my face pretending to be angry over his cheating on me. However, as time went by, and life went on during the course of my relationship with Afolabi, it turned out he had many skeletons in his closet. He was married in his home country with children, dated several other women alongside myself, was a crook, lied virtually about everything and never had a job. Put it simply: he was full of it. Anyway, to cut my story short, I had enough of Afolabi's crap and quit him. But Afolabi would not let go. He called me 24/7 leaving all sorts of embarrassing and abusive messages. He just wouldn't let go.

But there were other problems and concerns as well. My two ex husbands called and bombarded my home with all kinds of calls, even knowing the fact I was married to another Nigerian whom I was then committed to. These calls became so annoying and disturbing I had to lodge a complaint with the police department. In particular, my second husband who travelled to Nigeria and got married after our divorce, called me every now and then asserting I was the only one he loved, and that I was the only one who could make his life better. "You abandoned me for your homemade girl, now see what has happened to you," I told him at a point.

Meanwhile, the problem seemed not to be having an end in sight. On a particular day, after my third husband and I had gone through a heated debate over my carefree spending and regarding my bias to culture, I suggested we should visit a local book store in our neigborhood to see if we could buy any book/books on Nigerian culture and literature. To be sure, I had to enroll for classes in African ethnic studies and culture, including cultural anthropology. What I learned varied significantly from what I encountered dealing physically with Nigerian men. They really stink.

So as my suggestion prevailed, we cruised down to this book store. As we walked pass the counter, the cashier/owner cocked an eyebrow at me, typical of uncontrollable and disrespectful Nigerian men whenever they run into black American women.

"Akata," "obo," "omoge," "ikebe," "otondo," "okponku," are the commonly used slogans/slurs used by these nasty Nigerian men to describe we black American women.

Curiously, I had asked my husband what all the strange words meant. The most commonly slur used is "akata" and I am yet to digest its real meaning in detail. Afolabi, however, has provided enough literature to how disgusting Nigerian men are. By the way, why do you guys hate each other and can't get along? This is the question I pose to Nigerian men.

While in the book store, we browsed the book shelves and found books written by Wole Soyinka, Ben Okri, Obi Egbuna, Chinua Achebe and many others. We picked a couple of books--Soyinka nad Achebe--and checked them out at the counter, noticing the cashier had been busy and carried away with my plus size figure. Nigerians love it. Leaving the book store, the cashier squeezed a piece of paper to my palm. He had scribbled his phone number and name requesting I should call him for an important discussion.

The scenario was not the first, neither the second encountered of such disgusting attitudes by Nigerian men. It has occured time without number and I have learned to deal with it. I was like, can't this guy see I am with my husband. Well, Nigerians don't seem to care if you are married or not. At parties, conventions, naming ceremonies and other public events of that nature I have attended in the company of my husband, they offer all sorts of courtesy, from bragging to living in denial--all, just to have sex with you regardless if you are married.

My husband had never felt comfortable and had always threatened our marriage whenever I utter a word in response to greetings at these gatherings and parties thrown generously like a king's visit.

But one day, something happened and I made up my mind the nonsense got to and must stop. I got tired of his verbal abuse and walked out on him to stay with my mother. Ever since I have been happy and could always do what I feel like doing--go out dancing, dinning all night, to the movies and stuffs like that.

I am through with Nigerian men.

Of the three Nigerians I married and over fifty Nigerian men that I dated and had an affair, they all have one thing in common: They lie, they cheat, they are emotionless, they are possessive, they pretend to be what they aren't, they are all criminals and they ain't got it going on.

Y'all should stay with your wives and leave we black American women alone. I wanna have fun. I wanna go to the movies. I wanna dine and wine at the best restaurants. I wanna go fishing. I wanna go on a cruise. I wanna take a walk on the beach. I wanna do all these stuffs and y'all ain't got it.

These issues about your personal encounters which you raised on this board were with men of both stocks, therefore, I believe that you are on the right message board.

I sincerely hope that our men on this forum can truthfully address the issues and concerns that you have raised.

However, expect strong worded criticisms from the men, just as I expect you to equally dish yours out. When it comes to issues affecting each tribe and every one of us, it becomes, "up front, personal, and no hold, barred".

Yvette,
During your casual dates with these Nigerian men, were any of then of Igbo stock? Were any of your ex-husbands Igbo? If so, did you have any children with him(them)?

How now? Wetin dey happen? How you dey enjoy your visit with us, that is if you ever were a lagos resident.

Amanda,

I registered on both websites, but I was placed on the waiting list at Nigeriaworld. I met Julius at college when he was studying to be a civil engineer. He asked me to marry him, but I declined because I was then seeing another Ibo. Julius is now happily married with three children and works for United States government, to be laid off swooner or later.

My first husband was Yoluba, my second husband was Ibo and my third husband was Ibo, as well. I have been to Nigeria five times and there is nothing that I don't know and haven't seen. Y'all the same. Ain't none of you real.

I dated and had an affair with several Ghanains, Liberians and South Africans. Ghanains were much much better. They were straight forward and honest.

The Ibo guy who introduced me to this website, Julius, after I have not seen him for six years and we ran into ourselves at a supermarket two months ago told me how he has thought about me all his life, that nothing has changed since we last met. Even thogh he is married and still a player, he asked me out. All I told him was, "go back to school, I don't care if you are married or not." nevertheless, he is a good guy.

You now see what I mean?

Right now, I have nothing to do with you Nigerians; all I am asking for is for you guys to leave me alone. I am getting sick and tired of you bores. You guys should go and fix your lives and leave we black Americans alone.

You have to look inside your self also to see why you attract this type of men. From what you have said so far how this men shower you with gifts and money, What that tells me is that you will not date an average honest Nigerian who can not afford to shower you with all this earthly things. You do have to make up you mind whether you need an honest man whether Nigerian or otherwise. There most be a reason you can not stay away from this same Nigerian men you are bad mouthing. So far you have dated, Nigerian, Ghanians, Liberians, South Africans. Apparently either you are addicted to the gift that this men shower you with or you are using this men like sister Amanda pointed out, or both. Either way my point is that when you lay with dogs you will get flies.

You see, we were taught that each and every one of us is an Igbo ambassador to any place we reside. If we pride ourselves to be superior to the rest, we better make our best sure that we live by that example. if we cannot or incapable of doing so, we best refrain from phony superiority air.

I can only tell you this. The bad treatment this lady received from various Igbo/Yoruba, etc., men will rub off on the next available Biafra/Nigerian she decide to engage. This would-be unfortunate fellow could end up really in love with her. But due to her past experience, she's likely to take this unsuspecting man to hell and back.

What's your problem? The people that should be stoned to death for seeing her as an easy lay are the 54 of you who should have known better but allowed your lower faculty members to guide them. Because these men had the gross(est) weakness of the flesh, they, rather, should be stoned to death.

If this woman has no morals (which I doubt she claimed) where does a "high moral" you get off, sinking to the most debased level to lay with her? Where? If the first 10 Biafra/Nigerian men had assortment of STD (as your people are prone to having) she must have passed it on to these philandering men, who'd in turn pass it on to their wives. I believe you don't mind about harboring multiple STDs. There are those of us who do. Notice the distinction?

We are talking about a woman who acknowldged committing adultery as prescribed by your biblical principles; and here you are supporting something that is against your religion. Listen to this woman, she has no remorse to her infidelity, and yet, you presume nothing went wrong.

From you above spewing, you not only confirm your blood-thirsty ease in taking any human life, but you are equally insane.
Insanity that's a result of too many serial killings of human beings and twisted jihardist brain-washings.

A woman who acknowledged adultery, you say? Now that you claim to have acquired a little western civilization, I ask you:
(1) Did she commit adultery by herself?
(2) Has she not finger-pointed her adulterous partners?
(3) Why are you not recommending that these sexual partners of hers be stoned to death?
(4) Have you ever had any carnal knowledge of another woman, man, animal, apart from your 1st wife?
(5) Since that is so, should you not be stoned to death?
(6) Did you show any remorse for your infidelities?
(7) If so, how did you show it?
(8) Have you lusted after another human or animal apart from your wife?
(9) Have you coveted ANYTHING that is not yours, like the Biafran oil/resources/stolen /arsoned properties of Biafrans in your enclave?

Since you have commited all of the above, you are the vilest adulterer and should promptly be relieved of the very air you breath...for you don't deserve it. Moreover, this makes the woman you are accusing, a spotless saint.

Let me give you a little gist about an adultery incident in the new testament of the Bible.
The Hebrew religious zealots called the Pharisees brought a woman whom they claimed commited adultery to Jesus the Christ. So these zealots were all fuming and waving indignant fingers at the woman and demanding that she be stoned to death for adultery. Jesus said nothing, but he rather started making some inscriptions on the ground. Once each of these men/hypocrites read what he wrote, they all vanished. Ever wonder what he wrote? He wrote accounts of each and every adulterous liaisons of these accusing men. At the realization that their very own putrid adultery has been uncovered, they took shameful flight. So, when Jesus lifted up his face to behold only the woman standing, he asked her where her accusers were. After she answered that they had all gone away without stoning her, Jesus said, he would neither condemn her to death. He asked her to go in peace and sin no more.

"..Of the three Nigerians I married and over fifty Nigerian men that I dated and had an affair, they all have one thing in common: They lie, they cheat, they are emotionless, they are possessive, they pretend to be what they aren't, they are all criminals and they ain't got it going on."

So you got through the entire BifraNigerian super and flying eagles soccer squad huh? I'm not surprised at your experience, many footballers have their brains in their feet. Next time check out our Engineers

Your posting is not worth the bandwidth you've taken up. I challenge you to try your ganja smoking, dread-locked, lazy akata boyz and see if they could afford the utopic life of pleasure and ghetto hedonism you dream of.

Like they say, "if you sleep with dogs, you wake up with fleas."
Many of you have had children with women like Yvette. Like it or not, these children are Biafra/Nigerians. At such time that Biafra and Nigeria become seperate countries, these children are entitled to the right of return just like the kids born here whose parents are both Biafra/Nigerians. Now if someone like Yvette is the mother of those kids, is it a mystery the kind of upbringing she'd impart on those children? Their behavior would equally influence the overall trend-setting behavior of our society. It takes only a palm-oil smeared finger to to soil the rest of the fingers.

Why are you so adamantly defending this woman? That you are pro biafra is a given, but that you will cast away all your work/belief for biafra to fight for ANY woman is also a given.

I still don't think that she dated an Igbo man.

Look, be real. You have been miseducated that sleeping around and being irresponsibe is an enbtitlement. So when you come here and mistakenly take these women as easy to get, they give it to you easy all right...but with hefty and stiff penalties.

You claim to be a father. You told us you were not married. Now, is it not one of these kind of women that is mothering your child? Soon (if not already) she'll drag your to court and clean you off. You can't wriggle out of it because your uncle Jim Nwobodo has made sure you your land is in stone age condition. What do you do? You face up to your irresponsible lifestyles.

When you never got any decent home training, you can hardly claim to be better than the lowly women you're cavoting with. If I feel I'm better than a man, morally and class-wise, I do not engage in any kind of liaiason with him. Its that simple. Good upbringing inculcates uncompromizable principles in a person. Therefore, when one lacks breeding, they also lack principle..which makes them seek out their kind of unprincipled partners.

That you have no shame that 54 of you climbed in and out of this woman's bed is deplorable. Whatever happened to the examplary culture you were supposed to be upholding...since these Americans have none? Let me ask you, if you sleep with a mad woman, and she tells on you, does that make you better than the mad woman? Would you then turn around and say she's lying because she's mad? Can't you see that she can be exonerated while you're not?

This has nothing to do about women's defense. It has everything to do with morality and a sense of justice and fairness. The bottom line is that you should stop sleeping around with these kinds of women. If you don't and your issues comes out in the open, do not expect me to turn a blind eye on it or turn a hypocrite like you by castigating her when it took several of you to tangle with her. Just learn how to keep it in and zip it up. If not, you are just as inferior and low classed.

Your self esteem must pretty be non-existent to brag that you fathered several children with white women of that part of Texas.
You seem not to know that in this country, both white and black has the same character. The difference is the the later is kept down thru the segregative practice of overt and covert racism, while the former is given every free ride and every leeway imaginable.

Therefore, if the white women decide to bed down with you, I doubt they are any better than Yvette. At least Yvette will not sleep with her dog. All the same, goodluck with your white....uh, women.

About my love poems with UO, I think they are quite neat and appropriate. They fulfil a need in their special category on this board. Many people visit this board, and the poems you referred are "a must see and read" for them. They come away feeling that Biafrans can be natural romantics, too....not just a make-belief sentiments isolated to only the oyibos.
Afterall, you reduced yourself to a mere stud for oyibo women, just to feel romantic, didn't you. But here, OU and I didn't need to hire any oyibo to do the love poems for us. We're quite capable, and we did it, thank you.

To answer your last question...
Yes, it says quite a lot about my principles, having the privilege of this special association with OU. You do know that great minds think alike, don't you? Do you need an afa to know that a person is known by the company he/she keeps? When one has certain principles guiding him/her, it should not be compromised. When you chance upon like mind, you get along like two peas in a pod. Its called compatibility...whether it is in business, social, educational, or personal lives.

Concerning Bature, I really didn't think I should ask for his/your permission before I speak out against his obviously twisted islamic brainwashing. He would have been a better person, had it not been for islam. That said, I don't see that Bature is losing any sleep about any rebuttal I throw his way, for he gives as good as he takes.