And God created... God created the mule, and told him: "You will be Mule, working constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you will lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." "The mule answered: "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him: "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." "And the dog responded: "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him: "You are Monkey. You will swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." "And the monkey responded: "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years."
And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him: "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate and rule the earth and live for 20 years." "And the man responded: "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the ten years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry a woman and live 20 years like a mule working his tail off and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his own house and eating the leftovers after his children left the pantry empty; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown if only to amuse his grandchildren. "And it was so."
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Very hillarious stuff. At what stage are you Keshi?
___________________ Awo's political idea was based on the assumption that any town beyond Owo was Igbo or Hausa. Awo was not socialised; he was not a good mixer because he did not have the opportunity, which the secondary school offered. ~TOS Benson, Baba Oba of Lagos Posts: 2644 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2001
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Ohafia, Chiboy, Amucha, EDNUT & the whole gang,
Thanks. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Life is too short. We gotta crack up some jokes every once in a while, don't we?.
As for all you guys that want to know where I'm at, please remember that age is nothing but whatever you make of it. There's a BIG difference between how old you are and how matured you are, and how you really feel. Some days, I feel like sixteen. Other days, I feel like a 100 year-old wise man. What can I say? Peace brothers. Keep it rolling.
p/s EDNUT, I thought Dianne swallowed you up at the old naijaworld. Talking about Dianne, what did you do her? I hope you didn't do an OJ on her. She really gave you arun for your money. Sometimes I think that she came back as Amanda. Maybe that's why Amanda gives you so much hell. Just a thought. Hmmmmmm.
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Keshi, Like you, I also feel that Ednut misses his Diane. Wish I can locate her for him. If Ednut can show that he has mend his ways, perhaps, Diane could come back to him.
As for me, I've always been Amanda. I was and still registered to the other board as Amanda. We'd love to have Diane back on this board.
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Who wouldn't miss the dirty Dianne? I took her places and we had a lot of fun. Keshi, do you remember?
___________________ "We are where we are in large part at the moment, because our self-identified leaders of thought have put us there."----Ukpabi Asika Posts: 321 | From: Athens, Ohio USA | Registered: Mar 2001
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I think Diane is just laying low. I don't believe she will just disappear forever like that.
Maybe Ugali Shaga and Ednut have a clue. Ugali in his last post, was on to something there. I knew him and Dianne had fun but I didn't realize that he "took her places". Ugali, abeg explain this "taking Dianne places" thing. Which kind place be that sef?
Ednut, We're all ears. Tell us which kin' places you took Dianne that made her turn tail and ran. I'm not gonna allow you to get your hands on Gloria Alozie, 'cause I'm afraid for her.
It was Ugali that took Dianne places. All I did for Dianne was that I bought her to the States to give her a chance at a better life. That is what I might consider doing for Gloria too when I see what she looks like. How she is build. I guess as Waypoint1 said, she is build just like a grayhound.
___________________ Feel me? Ofu onye ana asi unu abia go. - Ednut Igbo-American . www.airamericaradio.com visit her.
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Yes, I took Dianne on a cruise to the Bahamas with a lullaby and spending spree she vowed we would spend the rest of our lives together. But unfortunately, Dianne left and was gone out of my life leaving me broken-hearted.
___________________ "We are where we are in large part at the moment, because our self-identified leaders of thought have put us there."----Ukpabi Asika Posts: 321 | From: Athens, Ohio USA | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ednut, Now, don't go borrowing trouble. You go quench-o. Gloria's got stamina. Didn't Dianne leave you for your WBTM routine? Should Gloria take you to task and the thing come kpafuka kpata kpata, don't count on my shoulders for sympathy. They're ll borrowed out.
___________________ Forward ever, backward never! Posts: 1874 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2001
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You wan make I fax you a specimen of Olu aka Chukwu plus my daily gym visit result? Can you handle it? Just say the word and I will fax it or better yet jpeg it to you.
___________________ Feel me? Ofu onye ana asi unu abia go. - Ednut Igbo-American . www.airamericaradio.com visit her.
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Ednut, See how long it took you to finally go a-stirring. Who be Olu/Chukwu sef? This adigboloja gym thing doesn't cut it o. For endurance/stamina, I suggest you axe some Ugbaka/Ukpaka wood, daily. Remember, Gloria is a very physically enduring woman!
___________________ Forward ever, backward never! Posts: 1874 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ednut & Amanda, this una tongue and mouth thing e don pass me sef. abeg make una explain una sef slow, slow. Bicos me, I be very slow learner. I no sabi dis una conversation at all. Abi I don miss something so? Make una helep me o.
Ednut, Wetin be going downtown? How dat one come different from going uptown or city center?
Amanda, How you go take swallow Ednut tongue? Na snapping turtle you be or piranha fish? Which one? Dis one don reach to make fear catch man sef. I think e get one trap wey dem dey call 'onya' for village. Dem dey set am to take catch nchi.
Hmm... so your poor tongue is the only vehicle available for the trip to downtown? Don't say that I didn't counsel you as you were busy popping viagra like it was going out of style. It seem to have backfired on you. I don't think Gloria is interested in your downtown expedition. Save it for the prunish oyibo women.
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