A group of girlfriends went on vacation and they see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only". Since they were
without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.

The Doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works...."We have 5 floors... go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for,you can stay there."
"It's easy to decide, since each floor has
signs telling you what's inside."

So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads "All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and
kind"... the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the Second floor reads "All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly". This wasn't
going to do.

So the friends move up to the Third floor where the sign read "All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of
women, they are not rich."

This was good, but our lady friends felt they could do better besides there were still two more floors, so on to the Fourth
floor, the sign was perfect. "All the men here have perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfect lovers;
they are also single,rich and straight"

The women seemed pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the
fourth.

When they reached the Fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that
there is no way to please a woman."

You have killed some people in England. Now that you have fired the first salvo I guess I can hide behind you and post some stuff from some Yorkshire lads when I get into work tomorrow.......

Sisters, if you don't like what I post please blame it on Chiboy. I'm sure you can all vouch for me.

As promised, please find pasted below the press release from the Lads. I'm only a conduit and Chiboy is the sponsor If it is too anti-ladies then we'll gladly transfer ownership to our EdnuT.

Enjoy!

For too long we men have been divided and conquered in the name of
equality, feminism and a host of other bobbins.
No more! The man fights back!!
Tell your friends, the 90’s man is dead.... Long live the Man of 2001.

Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is.....
* If you think you might be fat, you are. Don’t ask us. Just get your
arse down a gym.

* Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put the bloody thing down.

* Don’t cut your hair. Ever. It causes unnecessary arguments when we
dare to comment on it.

* Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present... again.

* Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

* Saturday = Football/Rugby. Let it be.

* Shopping is not a sport.

* Anything you wear is fine. Really !!!.

* Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don’t work.

* Face it, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

* Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think
we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with that particular dress?

* ‘Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Mmm’ are perfectly acceptable answers.

* A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

* Your Mum doesn’t have to be our best friend.

* Check your oil. It is an essential part of car maintenance.

* The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out.

* Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a subsequent
argument.

* It’s not the dress that makes you look fat. It’s all that bloody
chocolate you eat!!

* Telling us that the models in the men’s magazines are airbrushed
makes you sound jealous and petty and it’s certainly not going to
deter us from reading them.

* The male models with great bodies you see in magazines are all gay.

* If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of these
ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

* Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we rate how
pretty you are?

* Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the
commercial breaks.

* When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and
definitely does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.

* If you want some dessert after a meal - have some. You don’t HAVE to
finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don’t say “No, I
couldn’t/shouldn’t/don’t want any” and then eat half of mine.

* Dieting doesn’t work without exercise.

* If you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean my meals should be rabbit food as
well.

* A man’s four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat,
potatoes and cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance
of the above in acceptable quantities - everything else falls under the
category ‘garnish’.

* Do not question our sense of direction.

If you can learn the above, then man and woman can co-exist on a level
based on love and mutual respect.

The ball is in your court.

Sincerely,

If you wonder too loud you might get a black eye. I remember one episode of the NTV6 oyibo drama "love boat" where the captain was putting a teenager through his paces in the art of toasting lasses. The captain said he was very succesful with women as a result of which he'd gone through more than five relationships!

I doubt that any person is complete in themselve but holywood has not made life any easier for those of us who are midgets. Such is life!