posted
Nne anidi Nna abeg, carry una eye read di ting wey i come find for one kain forum. As i dey read am finish laughta carry me shotaaay i nearly fall for ground:
"Dis Na story about Monica, if Monica no kill me I no go die again. That kind love no be wetin man go gain.
I carry Monica go for one party. She come leave me dey dance with suga-daddy. She jump up - she jump down. She jump igue. She come kick the old man comot for stage. People come dey ask me if she be sista hammer. Because this kind girlfriend na one big wahala.
I carry Monica meet my friend girlfriends. All of dem come dey introduction themselves. The first lady say im dey Uniland for Ajiro. Monica come tork say she dey Unipetro. So me and Monica come stay Lagos the next morning. I bring out maclean, toothbrush and some bread and butter. Monica wan do the one wey surprise my eye. Im carry the butter come brush her teeth. She come use maclean eat bread and tea. I buy am maltina, she dey ask me if na blood tonic and how many spoon she go drink for morning. I buy am trés bon peppermint, she chop am finish her teeth strong bangbangra like cement. She come dey ask me which kind love medicine be all this one.
Me and Monica go for cinema hall, for where we dey watch cowboy. Everybody for cinama dey blow big gramma. Meself no know say Monica sef dey blow gramma. Di first lady jump up say 'this is fantastic!'. Monica sef jump up say 'this is cocastic!'. Everybody wey dey dey come take cover. This my girlfriend na really shakabula. If to say dem carry Monica go for Iraq, America for no dey give dem tough missile.... Just to cut am short. Monica go look for work. For interview dem say may dem bring pass record. When Monica land everybody start to laugh, because she carry one carton full of record Damarara, Sunny Ade, Shina and Lenta Brothers. Na so Monica loose im work for Liver Brothers. When I go look for wetin we go eat, I leave Monica for house, may she dey play di video dey enjoy di music, before me I come everthing done turn to zero. She say di man wey dey inside television dey laugh am. Na she come carry hammer come take am nack am. When she enta for kitchen say she wan cook, the pounded yam strong pass Olumo Rock, I swear this girl go kill me with love.
Gbosa, di last thing wey Monica do really pain me. If una hear am una go sorry for me. Monica done make us loose our visa when we wan go honeymoon for America. Dem just ask am simple question for embassy: Monica just start to dey blow big gramma. She say Nigeria have lot of mineral resources. Dem say 'can you mention one, just two or three?' She say 'small that one na simple question, we get Coke, we get Fanta, even 7up'. Na there me I come take cover."
___________________ OjuElegba - Moto dey come from North, South, East, West, Up, Down, Centa and Middul. Posts: 21 | Registered: Nov 2004
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