The show is a blueprint to addressing the social, political, economic and cultural problems seemed to have engulfed the Nigeria state since the new democratic era began on May 29, 1999. The new innovative show will give forumites from all message boards to make their comments based on the perspective of every show.

As in this close session with the president, he is under no oath or obligation. He speaks his mind and all that he knows, per se.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Mr. President, welcome to our show.

UNCLE SEGE: Thank you "ojare."

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Mr. President, before we proceed, how do you feel becoming the president of a democratic nation to when you were a dictator and incarcerated for planning a coup?

UNCLE SEGE: Well, you see, Thompson, I feel good. I have travelled more than any siting president. I have made more business with the Swiss' and Americans. They like it when I carry all the money "come dump for their bank accounts. I am glad they support my "wuruwuru" and "magomago" By the way, what do you mean by my being a "dictator and incarcerated for planning a coup?"

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: The records are there to prove it. It does not take too much probing to elicit testimony that in your era as the head of a military government, you committed more atrocities than your succesors. First, armored tanks were rolled against demonstrating university students during the "Ali must go" over hike in school fees. Secondly, you demolished Fela's shrine just for his expression of free sppech--the smash hit "Zombie." Third, you proscribed Newsbreed Newsmagazine, the nation's first newsmagazine that defended democracy and the rule of law. The list of your atrocities went on and on. Now what do you have to say on this?

UNCLE SEGE: You see the students riots was engineered by that "jaguda" Segun Okeowo which was why I ordered Yakubu to shoot any student at sight. For Fela, "na im broda Beko wey wan come show say im sabi book even though we don shak and smoke 'igbo' together. For Newsbreed, they were writing nonsense saying Rufai was a brute. How could they call the nation's best ruler a brute?

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Who is Yakubu and who is Rufai?

UNCLE SEGE: Yakubu is Theophilus Danjuma and Rufai is Murtala Muhammed. We called ourselves by our middle names. They called me Aremu.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Mr. President, the whole world knows Muhammed and Danjuma were brutes. The case of the Asaba Massacre and the brutal murder of Ironsi cannot be challenged, could it?

UNCLE SEGE: Thompson, you are pulling on my legs. If Danjuma killed Ironsi and Murtala Muhammed robbed the central bank and lined up Asabains for extermination, so what?

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: So what? You mean what they did was justified?

UNCLE SEGE: Justified in the sense they were engaged in a war. You fight a war to defend your territorial integrity. But that bank robbery at Benin, I did not support it.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Was Danjuma's case of Ironsi's assassination a war?

UNCLE SEGE: Oladipo Diya should be asked that question. "Me a no follow kill Ironsi, so why should it be my cup of tea?"

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Why Oladipo Diya?

UNCLE SEGE: You see that yeye man Diya thought he knew too much and when everything came back to him, im come begin beg.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: That does not answer my question regarding Diya?

UNCLE SEGE: What do you actually want to know. Let's move on.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Ok., let's move on. Is it true that during the Civil War, on May 12, 1969, you replaced your distant cousin, Benjamin "Black Scorpion" Adekunle as Commander of the Third Marine Commando (Third Division, Nigeria Army) and when you landed at Owerri you killed innocent children and women including unarmed civilians?

UNCLE SEGE: That is true. My men indeed raped the women, hacked some to death and burried many alive.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: That was gruesome. Why ain't you offering apologies yet?

UNCLE SEGE: The Oputal panel will do that on my behalf.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: That's not enough. An apology from the state should be the ultimatum. Do you have a problem with that?

UNCLE SEGE: Let's move on.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: We are moving on. Even in Lagos, on Ben Bruce Murray's FM station that entertain its listeners with foreign music and comics, the talk show host has in several occasions referred to you as "the dumbest president who's got no clue what democracy and the rule of law stands for." How do you explain this?

UNCLE SEGE: First of all, Ben Bruce na oyibo bastard. Im friend too wey be Ike Ikemefuna, na wayo and jipiti man. You see, dem dey always hang around my wife Stella and dey do all kinds of things, dey shak "igbo" too. Me a know trust Stella anymore o, e be like say im be ashawo. Anyway, me I get dem bokwu, sha.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Since you are incoherent with my questions, what is it all about this "igbo" stuff?

UNCLE SEGE: You see I remember the time when me and Yakubu, Rufai and Shuwa will go to Oko Babasule in Ajegunle to sleep with the urhobo and Kwale omoges. After that, I will go back to Alagbon Towers in Ikoyi where Kunle's mother lived. Then Kunle mama too me a go see am dey lay on top of my alhaji friend.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: O yeah! So you had an extra marital affair?

UNCLE SEGE: Ask Abiola. I never liked him because you cannot trust him with your wife. See what he did to Murtala. I never let my women around him, though he tried it once.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: We are out of time. One more question. You have pointed out in numerous occasions that you are now a born again follower of Jesus Christ, meaning you have given up all your bad habits to abide by the biblical principles. How exactly have you followed that up?

UNCLE SEGE: Mr. Buraimoh, your head no correct. Don't you know I used that to survive the hostile environment of Abacha who was sleeping with every general's wife? When he (Abacha) found out my wife would reveal the secret, he killed her.

THOMPSON BURAIMOH: Mr. President, it's quite nice having you in our show and we hope you visit us again. One more thing, a sense of humor, please. Do you use condom?

UNCLE SEGE: No, I like it straight. (laughs).

Stay blessed and keep the faith.

I can be reached at ttbs@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Peace!